Stephanie Trowbridge

I lost my youngest at Disneyland. I know I am not alone in this, but in the moment, it feels like you are the only mother on the planet who would have the ability to loose your kid at Disneyland.

We were there for one day. The parade was about to start and I had a minimum of two hangry humans on my hands. We decided to jump into the gift shop to get the girls their one item to take home. I don’t like to shop, so I am a bagger – grab it and go. My girls, on the other hand, have to see all the options. My oldest spends most of her time convincing her little sister the value to buying something so that she can also benefit from it. After the decision is made, she then moves on to her own which takes even longer.

Needing food, understandably, my husband heads out to find us all something to eat and meet us on the parade route. I turn back to help our 7-year-old with her “hurry up and make a decision” shopping. No decision yet, so I turn my attention to my 4-year-old. She was no-where.

Since this little angel came into the world, she runs, not walks, to her own music. If she gets hurt, she runs. If she is excited, she runs. If she is upset with me, she runs her mouth. If she is hangry, she hides. If she is being funny, she hides. It is who she was created to be. Her hair alone is about a mile wide, so half of her hiding is underneath unruly hair, which never seems to bother her.

Initially, this missing child was not a big worry since hiding or running somewhere is common. After searching the store and still finding her missing, now I could panic. I was calling her name. I told her sister to stay put and keep deciding. I had other mothers looking for her. I was becoming unraveled as I dialed my husband. “I’ve lost her!” I wailed. He simply turned around and there she was, trotting behind him, oblivious that her mother was loosing her ever-loving mind. She heard “food” and off she went with her favorite tall guy to find it.

My parents told me a story about a time when we were at our local shopping mall. I must have been pretty small, because I have no recollection of this. We were in a department store where the circular racks were great hiding spaces. Does anyone remember those as a kid? We would crawl under the mens shirts or suits and could hide in there to stress anyone out.

After a few minutes my parents, assuming I was in a rack, began to panic when I didn’t obediently come out. While my mom checked the racks, my father dashed back down the mall in search of me. He found me sitting in a child’s little chair in front of the toy store watching Sesame Street. I wasn’t lost. I had something to do and went about doing it.

We can often find ourselves lost when we forget what direction we want to be heading. Just like my little one, she was never lost. She was headed in a direction she just didn’t tell me she was going. I wasn’t lost when I was little, I just didn’t tell anyone around me where I really wanted to be. Isn’t it true when we go through the routines of life we can start to forget what we actually set out to do or who we set out to be.

Parenting, for me, to be like that. I have to daily choose to hold to my own ambitions and goals while supporting my husband’s and my children’s experiences and dreams. I have to remember to check-in to make sure I know where they are headed. It is easy to just become lost by focusing on where I think everyone else should be, even myself.

I wonder if you have felt, or do feel, the same. Is today the day to tap back into where you are headed? Have your children’s or spouse’s dreams become your own and you need to get back to yours? If so, then tell someone where you are going. Most likely, your someone will want to go with you to cheer you on. If you get stuck, or start loosing sight of your direction, tap back into your someone so they can remind you were you were going. In turn, be the kind of person someone else will tell their dreams and directions too. It’s an honored place to be.

With love,

Steph